


I've Built My Dreams Around You

by AppleTeeth



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Christmas Feels, M/M, trigger warning - abusive childhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-25
Updated: 2012-12-25
Packaged: 2017-11-22 09:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/608312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AppleTeeth/pseuds/AppleTeeth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce doesn't like Christmas, whereas Tony would like nothing better than an extravagant dinner with his boyfriend. Compromises need to be made, with Steve and Natasha playing peace-makers between the two.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Built My Dreams Around You

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this very quickly last night, so I apologise for any mistakes.

“Are you sure I can’t convince you to come to dinner with me?”

“Tony, no. It’s fine. I’m happy with my routine.”

“Your routine is sad and depressing and I’m not letting it continue.”

Bruce laughs, because he’s not about to start a fight over something so trivial. Tony is the one trying to start one, having asked Bruce what he’s doing for Christmas tomorrow, and with his answer of ‘nothing’, Tony now has his defences up and keeps firing more and more questions, not understanding just why Bruce doesn’t want to celebrate the holiday.

“It’s not an important day for me. I don’t mind if you want to be merry but I’d rather sit it out. I’ll be fine on my own.”

Tony points at him accusingly from across the workbench. “Ah, you see, there it is. Don’t start your whole burning martyr skit.”

“There’s no skit. I’m not trying to make you feel sorry for me. I would just rather not celebrate Christmas.”

“And why not?”

Bruce sighs, not there’s no anger to it. He just sounds weary of explaining the same reasons behind a lot of his actions. “Read the SHIELD file on my childhood, Tony. It illustrates it all beautifully.”

There’s only a slight pause before Tony carries on. “So that was then. Don’t let that shit ruin everything for you.”

“I don’t. I honestly don’t. I just want to hang out and do my own thing. It’s my tradition and I like it.”

“Well fuck your tradition. You’re supposed to do stuff with me and be there during the big celebrations.”

“I compromise on a lot of things, Tony," he says quietly. "But not this.”

“It would mean a lot to me,” Tony tries, because that’s his last card to play.

“And it would mean a lot to me if you’d drop the whole subject.”

“Fine.” And Tony throws down his tools irritably. Daring not to say what is in his mind, knowing it will cause far too much damage to justify, he opts to leave the laboratory altogether.

Bruce watches him walk out and just tries to push it out of his mind.There is an endless list of ways in which he is willing to change for Tony’s sake, but this is one of the few areas in which he won’t budge. Christmas has never been a joyful time for him but he doesn’t begrudge anyone who celebrates it - he just asks that people leave him be.

His earliest memories of Christmas are him managing to construct a working ferris wheel out of an Erector Set kit he got when he was five. He had followed the instructions to start with - trying to build a small tower that was suitable for his age range - but he had got bored and started to build like one of the pictures on the box. No instructions, just trial and error. His dad found his work and his subsequent reaction put Bruce in the hospital.

It would be easy for him to pluck a dozen other bad Christmas memories and throw them at Tony as reasons why he would rather sit in his lab and get on with some work whilst it is quiet, but he doesn’t want to. Even worse than Tony getting angry that Bruce won’t celebrate with him is Tony feeling sorry for him. He will settle for angry over that every single time.

\---

“He doesn’t want to come, I take it?”

Tony ignores Steve as he proceeds to blast a hole in the back wall of the firing range, wearing the gloves to his suit which are plugged into his reactor. The repulsors fire at the moving targets but he’s not concentrating. He’s too busy just enjoying firing blasts for the sheer hell of it.

Steve watches him, keeping his distance but also trying to show Tony he’s got someone to talk to.

“Don’t force him, Tony.”

Tony continues to fire and shouts over the din, “You’ve got to stop pretending you’re the mother of the group, Cap. It’s embarrassing.”

“I love Christmas too, but I’ve learnt not to force my beliefs on others.” Steve chuckles. “And I’m the one from the intolerant era.”

“I’m not forcing any beliefs. There are no beliefs. Christmas is about being together and doing the shitty traditions that makes winter bearable. The baby Santa has no place in my holiday season.”

Steve has an obvious comeback but he doesn't say it. Tony may not believe in God or the significance of Jesus’ birth, but he has created his own beliefs around the celebration itself. Were someone to say Tony couldn’t celebrate Christmas, he would fight as fiercely as anyone religious.

“Well, can’t you be with him instead?”

Tony fires a long blast across the entirety of the firing range, severing all of the moving targets at their bases. He then just start shooting at the wall, venting his frustration the best way he knows how.

“If he doesn’t like the traditions, then make your own,” Steve continues. “Honestly? I think we only carry on with traditions because they remind us of our childhoods. Is that why you want to do them? Because they remind you of happier times with your family?”

Tony doesn’t answer - he just keeps blasting. The wall has partially collapsed now. “I only ask because that’s why I still put up a tree and decorate my apartment when nobody lives with me. I even bought the same decorations my mom used to have. How’s that for frantically grasping onto the past?”

“I don’t celebrate the holidays just because it was the only time my father was tolerable towards me.”

“I didn’t mention Howard.”

He’s got him there.

Tony finally lowers his outstretched hands and turns to Steve. “I get it. He had a crappy childhood and his dad didn’t exactly quit during the holidays. By all accounts, he was even worse. But he acts all high and mighty, like he doesn’t need Christmas to be happy. Well some people do, and whilst I’m aware I’m not known as Captain Sentimental like you, I would just like to have a massive feast with my boyfriend.”

“Did you even ask him what he wanted to do tomorrow?” Tony doesn’t answer. After a few moments, it becomes apparent that Tony isn’t going to say anything else. It may be the first time ever that Steve has successfully silenced the other man.

\---

“What were you and Tony fighting about?”

Bruce jumps in terror when Natasha sits down on the opposite side of his workbench.

“How did you even get in?”

“Oh please,” Natasha says with a small smile. “I learnt the codes to all your super-secret science club in the first week we moved in. So. Tony. What happened?”

“He’s trying to force me to celebrate Christmas, when I’d rather stay by myself.”

“Understandable. I read your file. Your dad was pretty fierce this time of year. And didn’t your mom die just after the holidays?”

He opens his mouth, ready to retaliate, but the fact of the matter is he can never be angry at Natasha for keeping to the point and seeing through whatever barriers people throw up.

“Pretty much. But it’s not like I want to wallow by myself, sobbing over my sad little life. Honestly. Of course I used to hate anyone who so much as smiled at me during December, when I was a teenager and that’s kinda in the remit, but it gets weary.”

“So... what is it? You make a lot of allowance for everyone around you. You’re willing to adapt with your surroundings, especially with Tony and his lifestyle which is the polar opposite to the one you’re used to. So why not this?”

Bruce pauses, his eyes looking down at the desk as he twists his fingers uncomfortably. “Because there’s still triggers. I still get nervous when I see a Christmas tree. I find Christmas dinner suffocating. I don’t like people giving me presents because they signify the point where my dad realised he’d created a genius monster and started punishing me and my mom for it. And once those big traditions are off the table, I don’t see the point of doing anything else.”

Natasha nods firmly. “Understandable.”

Bruce knows there’s a ‘but’ coming, and he waits for her to pluck up the courage to say it.

“But Tony had a bad childhood too, and maybe this holiday means more than just throwing money around.”

\----

**Christmas Morning**

“Sir, Mr Stark would like to enter your laboratory.”

Bruce raises his eyes from the microscope that has had his full attention for hours now.

“Um...” He’s not sure he can handle another fight, especially if it will ruin the holiday complete for Tony. His solution has been to hide away and hope Tony can have a nice day without him.

Bruce reluctantly turns in his chair and his face instantly softens at what he sees. No red. No green. No tinsel or holly or crappy sweaters. Just Tony in his normal jeans and faded rock t-shirt, and carrying what looks like take-out.

“Let him in, Jarvis,” Bruce says softly.

The door hisses as it opens and Tony steps in, looking perfectly nonchalant and as if this isn’t an important day.

“I bought deep-fried tofu and dumplings. We can split the noodles, I never eat them all, but you’re not touching my sweet and sour vegetables.”

And dammit if Bruce has been trying his hardest not to feel guilty this entire time, he feels dreadful now.

“Tony, go back to your dinner. You don’t have to be with me. I’m sorry I spoilt your day.”

Tony puts down the takeout bags and walks over to Bruce. He grabs his hands and squeezes them gently.

“Here’s the thing about Christmas. It means squat if I don’t get to have it with you. The tree, the presents, the massive dinner, they all mean jack. So if that means I hang out in here all day, then fine.”

“But... you love all that stuff. And me associating the holiday with bad memories shouldn’t ruin that. Look, I’ll come to the dinner, okay?”

Tony shrugs. “Meh, I throw dinners all the time. And I give you presents whenever you’re willing to accept them and I don’t make you feel like a charity case. I honestly haven’t celebrated it for years - I just thought I could recreate some happy memories from my childhood now I have you. But I like the idea of making new traditions. Every Christmas Eve we could fly out to some remote island that doesn’t understand the meaning of the holiday and we can do whatever we like. No pressure to live up to some ideal or avoid any triggers that remind you of what a shitty life you once had.”

He leans forward and kisses Bruce on the forehead.

“But, seeing as we’ve left it to short notice, I was just going to stay here with you and we can do whatever you want.”

Bruce feels a warmth spreading in his body. It reminds him of better times from his childhood.

“I’d really like that. And hey, if you want to watch some of the TV specials, I wouldn’t mind. I didn’t watch much TV as a kid so Charlie Brown’s Christmas won’t do anything to me.”

“So takeout, science, TV specials and possibly sex later?”

“Sounds like a good new tradition to me.”


End file.
